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Finding a new social life

Posted: Tue Jun 4, 2019 5:01pm
71 replies3731 views17 members subscribed
Shaunagh56

Shaunagh56

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Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

I bought in Gran Alacant in late 2016 with my partner of 20 years, sadly he died suddenly in December 2017.  I now come to Gran Alacant alone and am struggling to meet new people. I have worked since the day I left school apart from a couple of years  when I was raising  my children. I divorced when they were very young and had to go back to work. I worked solidly after that until I decided to take early retirement in October 2018.  Up to that point my social life had been around toddler group and the other mums when the children were small, then work colleagues and family thereafter. I don’t know how to make/ meet new Friends as a singleton.   I have lost who I am as my job was where I was most comfortable and am spending too much time at home alone.  I am not a sporty person but would love to find a new interest, a dance class for instance, group outings, quiz nights etc or just someone to pop to Mercadona with or visit the beach on occasion.  I am spending too much time alone and need to change this.  My biggest issue is that  I  don’t drive so I am limited in where I can go.  I need help starting again.  I am not a wimp and .i am not shy talking to strangers but I need to find something that we have in common.  I can chat, some say too much, I am a little creative - I knit and crochet and have recently started up-cycling wooden furniture. I enjoy social gatherings and am a very proud “abuela” with two grandsons and two more babies due in October/November. I am learning Spanish, mostly self taught but now  have a weekly Spanish lesson with a tutor.  I really want to build the Spanish life that everyone talks about but finding it is slow  going. All suggestions greatly received.  If you can identify with my situation am happy to meet up and swap notes - male or female.  Thanks. Shaunagh

cp

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 5:33am

cp

Very helpful member

Posts: 551

528 helpful points

Location: La Mata

Joined: 13 Jan 2018

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 5:33am

Hi.  Try joining the Facebook group Ladies of Spain.    It is friendly and informative and has members from all over Spain.    Many members organise social events in their local area too.  If there is nothing local to you why not set up a coffee morning yourself and see who comes?   ( I did in my area - found a local restaurant willing to accommodate us- and create events on the Facebook group roughly once a month. Usually around  10 ladies come along each month - a great way to meet local ladies ). 

Shaunagh56

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 11:31am

Shaunagh56

Original Poster

Helpful member

Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 11:31am

Thanks , I thought of this but I am not a permanent resident, though often here 6-8 weeks at a time, till brexit curtails my visits, so not sure this would be practical.  Not rules it out though.  

Shaunagh56

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 11:41am

Shaunagh56

Original Poster

Helpful member

Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 11:41am

Kim, haven’t been to the townhall yet, but off to the local library later today as they do organise some things from there I am told. Spain has been my dream for a long time, for the lifestyle and health benefits so I  won’t give up but sometimes it is very lonely watching others enjoying what I am trying to achieve and I don’t speak to another human for days/weeks ( not counting shop assistants). I am told a lot of ladies “do it alone” but many of them lived inSpain with partners/husbands so have  already made friends etc  before becoming single again.  . I know it can be done so I will just have to push on!. Appreciate your input. 

Cathiejstead

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 9:21pm

Cathiejstead

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Posts: 336

490 helpful points

Joined: 20 Jun 2017

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 9:21pm

Hi Shaunagh

I'm so sorry for your loss and think you're very brave to stay in Spain.

Please don't take this the wrong way but if you go to your local Samaritons  966 765 970 they have a list charities that need help. I know they were looking for people to train for one of the help lines.

I really admire your honesty. Stay strong and possitive. 

Cathie 

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Shaunagh56

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 9:46pm

Shaunagh56

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Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

Posted: Wed Jun 5, 2019 9:46pm

Brillant idea! This may be what I need, thanks for the input.  

jocla0107

Posted: Thu Jun 6, 2019 8:54pm

jocla0107

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Posts: 48

62 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 16 Feb 2017

Posted: Thu Jun 6, 2019 8:54pm

Hi Shaunagh

I am going to the library in Gran Alacant on saturday morning for intercambio.  This involves 45 minutes speaking in Spanish and 45 minutes speaking in English.  At the moment there is only a few of us and I am the only English speaking person!  If you are here in GA at the moment why not come along at 11.30 am ?  Please don’t worry if your Spanish is very basic, the Spanish people will be delighted to converse in English.  I’ve only been a few times myself but we have had a laugh! 

Best wishes 

Anne 

Shaunagh56

Posted: Fri Jun 7, 2019 1:14pm

Shaunagh56

Original Poster

Helpful member

Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

Posted: Fri Jun 7, 2019 1:14pm

Oh thanks Ann, I think I will come along. . Not sure I can hold a conversation for 45 minutes though! And my skills are still very very basic!

SMG

Posted: Sun Jun 9, 2019 10:11am

SMG

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Posts: 139

91 helpful points

Location: Torrevieja

Joined: 5 May 2018

Posted: Sun Jun 9, 2019 10:11am

As a previous poster mentioned the Facebook group of Ladies of Spain would be a great one to join. 

There are ladies all over Spain who organise events and it's great for finding friends. 

If you do use Facebook, search for Costa Blanca, Alicante etc and I'm sure you will find a group which suits you to find friends.

Shaunagh56

Posted: Sun Jun 9, 2019 11:18am

Shaunagh56

Original Poster

Helpful member

Posts: 85

58 helpful points

Location: Gran Alacant

Joined: 4 Jun 2019

Posted: Sun Jun 9, 2019 11:18am

You are correct and I am already a member of Ladies of Spain however not many ladies actually live in  Gran Alacant and as I don’t drive, I cannot  get to  most of the meet ups. I have met three ladies thru LoS - one lives here permanently so she has a lot of local friends but we do meet up once or sometimes  twice a month for Coffee and I do get invited to the odd group meal. Another lives in La Marina and drives but  she is not resident so it is not always possible to meet up if our dates don’t match up , she is happy to come to GA and my third friend lives in Santa Pola, she is resident and has a family to care for and house to run.  She also owns a rental property in GA so again she comes here and we meet, I would say about once a  Month. On recommendation from a lady in this site I did go to a language intercambio on Saturday morning. That was a nice, friendly mixed group and when I am in Spain I will continue to attend as I need every chance I have to start speaking Spanish.  As I said, I haven’t just sat back and done nothing, guess I was just hoping there were more local ladies looking to make new friends that I  could meet up with, go to the beach with or just pop up and see them or just go shopping together.  I would have a go at bowls but without a car I can’t get to the location and a taxi would cost €10-15 each way as we get charged for the taxi to come up from Santa Pola first!  Am not giving up but it is slow going as whilst there a lot of ladies in GA, they are probably all too busy enjoying life to waste time online like I have to do.  They say patience is a virtue and all good things come to those who wait so hopefully in time it will all work out.  

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