Guilt - Page 2

Catherina1998 wrote on Thu Sep 22, 2022 4:33pm:

Thank you for your response no my son is happy living his life it’s me I just can’t get this separation feeling gone I would only see my son a couple of times a month but I’m very unhappy here it’s not for me thank you again ❤️❤️

Gloria68 wrote on Thu Sep 22, 2022 4:37pm:

Hi

A couple of times a month that's good, you will make friends, things to do, it's because you've left your home country your homesick, give it time

Grannyrose wrote on Fri Sep 23, 2022 11:58pm:

I’m presuming that you are on your own. That being the case, you are bound to be feeling lost   Don’t do anything rash. Going back home won’t help your health particularly during the cold, damp winter. Book a couple of flights and go over for a couple of visits. I guarantee you’ll ac...

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...tually miss the feel good factor that life in Spain offers. Don’t cut yourself off altogether. If I were you, I’d book flights and go over to see my son and all other family and friends. Could you invite your son over for Christmas and make fun plans for his visit?  Our children are only on loan to us. They must be allowed their freedom to forge a life out for themselves. Please don’t make your son feel guilty. Allow him to believe that you are making a good life for yourself but you miss him and need to see him. There’s nothing wrong with loving your children, we’re all guilty of that. My son ( my baby) got married and has a little daughter now who he tells me he loves more than life. That’s how it works. His wife and daughter are now his life and we are his special father and mother who take second place in his life. 

Don’t be sad. Have a good cry if that helps and find the strength to understand that you are at the helm of your life. Only you can forge out a life for yourself. Join some classes, meet other lonely people.  Volunteer at a charity shop .  Small steps!  You can do it . Don’t allow your loneliness to ruin your new life. Remember, you must have wanted to make this change and well done for getting up and doing it. Buy a dog and go walking. So many people stop to talk to dog owners. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you to believe in yourself. 
Remember, small steps. Keep us updated. Be good to yourself. 

Love Grannyrose x

Grannyrose wrote on Fri Sep 23, 2022 11:58pm:

I’m presuming that you are on your own. That being the case, you are bound to be feeling lost   Don’t do anything rash. Going back home won’t help your health particularly during the cold, damp winter. Book a couple of flights and go over for a couple of visits. I guarantee you’ll ac...

Read more...

...tually miss the feel good factor that life in Spain offers. Don’t cut yourself off altogether. If I were you, I’d book flights and go over to see my son and all other family and friends. Could you invite your son over for Christmas and make fun plans for his visit?  Our children are only on loan to us. They must be allowed their freedom to forge a life out for themselves. Please don’t make your son feel guilty. Allow him to believe that you are making a good life for yourself but you miss him and need to see him. There’s nothing wrong with loving your children, we’re all guilty of that. My son ( my baby) got married and has a little daughter now who he tells me he loves more than life. That’s how it works. His wife and daughter are now his life and we are his special father and mother who take second place in his life. 

Don’t be sad. Have a good cry if that helps and find the strength to understand that you are at the helm of your life. Only you can forge out a life for yourself. Join some classes, meet other lonely people.  Volunteer at a charity shop .  Small steps!  You can do it . Don’t allow your loneliness to ruin your new life. Remember, you must have wanted to make this change and well done for getting up and doing it. Buy a dog and go walking. So many people stop to talk to dog owners. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you to believe in yourself. 
Remember, small steps. Keep us updated. Be good to yourself. 

Love Grannyrose x

Grannyrose wrote on Sat Sep 24, 2022 2:55pm:

We still live in (NI) but absolutely love Torrevieja. We were due to fly tomorrow but had to change the flights until 11th October   Our place is on the La Mata side of Torrevieja .

I’d be delighted to meet up with you when we’re there. 

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Our weather here has been extraordinarily good since we came home on 10th August. Our garden is beautiful and the sun is shining. It’s cooler though and to change next week 

I’m delighted to hear that you are making plans for Christmas. We all need dreams / plans.  That’s what keeps us sane. Knowing that your lovely son is planning to visit us great news and will buck you up no end. 

As we are nearing October, start to get your new home ready for the colder evenings and nights. Perhaps you could go to Ikea and buy a few rugs for the floors. There’s a tour bus which goes once a week and you can put your purchases into the hold under the bus.  Make lists of items you’d like to buy. Spend time looking in the shops. Don’t rush into buying, take your time and take photos to refer to when you are sitting at home. Find things to occupy yourself otherwise you will get down in the dumps and you don’t need that to happen. Try to be positive and upbeat. Not easy but you can do it. 

Torrevieja is a great place to live. Make the best of it. Do you have WiFi?  It’s a great investment for watching tv and catching up on What’s App. I could go on and on but don’t want to bore you. 

Life is what you make of it.  Cheers. X

Catherina1998 wrote on Sat Sep 24, 2022 4:10pm:

Thank you so so much and yes would love to meet up when you are over am renting an apartment first please god and do have Wi-Fi I FaceTime my son most days it’s this anxiety I’m finding very very hard and I know here is better for my health again would love to meet up when you are over god bl...

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...ess and thank you 🙏❤️

laurahammie wrote on Sat Sep 24, 2022 1:04am:

Very well said Granny Rose!  Catharina1998 I think us with adult children have felt that loss - we are currently visiting my oldest daughter but know that we will have to say goodbye soon and we will be on our way to Spain with Visa´s in hand.  I do have a sense of slight dread at the ...

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...distance (we are in the USA) but they do not need us now and like you said, they have their own lives.  It is a sadness!  But look forward to your new adventures and friends!  Maybe we can meet up for coffee when we get there if you decide to stay. :)

Catherina1998 wrote on Sat Sep 24, 2022 11:06pm:

Thank you and yes it’s all part of life but very very hard would love to meet up when you are over here gods bless ❤️